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Five date movies worse than 'Gone Girl'

Posted Tuesday, October 7, 2014 at 5:11 PM Central
Last updated Tuesday, October 14, 2014 at 1:27 PM Central

by John Couture

This weekend I saw Gone Girl and I absolutely loved every delectable twist and turn. Somehow my man crush on David Fincher increased which shouldn't have been possible as I'm pretty sure I maxed that out long ago. And yet, it did.

As is often the case these days, my viewing partner in crime was my wife. Given that we had both read the book, we knew what we were getting into, but it did cross my mind on more than one occasion that this is probably not a great date movie.

Who are we kidding? With two kids under the age of three any time spent alone by ourselves constitutes grade A date material. But still, I wasn't surprised when I read this Vulture piece that asked if Gone Girl was the worst first date movie of all time.

For the record, any movie is the worst first date ever and the author of the story at least acknowledges this fact. But the question remains, is Gone Girl a horrible early relationship date movie? For the record, Ben Affleck thinks that it places a solid second behind Fatal Attraction.

It's hard to argue with that as nothing kills the mood quicker than a boiling bunny, but I still think that there has to be even worse date films out there. So, I compiled a list of five films that I feel are worse date films than Gone Girl.

  1. Blue Velvet

    You can pretty much put any David Lynch film on this list, but I think this one is the most profane. You can pretty much guarantee that this will be your last date if you see this one.

  2. Nymphomaniac

    No. Just no. I consider myself to be fairly open to many things and there were a couple scenes in this film that made me wince. I couldn't even imagine watching it on a date.

  3. Teeth

    Two words: Vagina Dentata. Two more words: Restraining Order.

  4. Schindler's List

    I'm pretty sure that any film about the holocaust would make this list. If you take a date to see this one, please seek professional help.

  5. American Psycho

    Nothing says let's take this relationship up a notch than a misogynistic serial killer. You can bet that the flying chainsaw scene and the hanger scene are enough to insure that you will show up on some sort of website dedicated to warning others not to date you.

    6. How did I do? What films would you put on the list?