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It's the 'Swinepocalypse!' The top 10 pigs in film

Posted Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 5:36 PM Central
Last updated Friday, January 15, 2010 at 10:34 AM Central

by John Couture

In case you’ve been living under a rock the last couple of weeks, allow me to pass along a public service announcement. The Swine Flu is this year’s Bird Flu and last decade’s Mad Cow Disease. Apparently, there’s a new exotic sounding illness and news stations across the globe are sensationalizing it because well, it’s their job.

But, a little perspective never hurt. If you’re concerned about the Swine Flu, you should check out ShouldIBeWorriedAboutSwineFlu.com. It’s ok, we’ll wait.

Now, that’s certainly putting things into perspective now isn’t it? Of course, I don’t mean for this article to belittle the very serious disease that is the Swine Flu, but hey, much like Shaun of the Dead and the upcoming zombie pandemic, if you can’t joke about impending death, is it really worth living at all?

With this in mind, we present “Swinepocalypse: The Top 10 Oinkers.”* Or, in other words, the top ten pigs ever captured on celluloid. Although, we wouldn’t be doing a fair and balanced job of reporting if we didn’t continually caution you on the threat of the Swine Flu Pandemic. And so, we present the following public service announcement that was prepared in 1976 for this very moment.

Now that that’s out of the way, sit back and enjoy our tribute to the other white meat. Don’t forget to let us know all the great pigs we’ve absentmindedly left off the list.

* No pigs were harmed in the creation of this list.

10

Porky Pig, Space Jam (1996)

And I bet you thought we were going to save Porky for last so that we could play up the cheap joke of his trademark line. Sorry folks, but th-th-th-that’s not all. However, you can’t have a list of this magnitude without including a true icon in the field and Porky’s breadth of work certainly speaks for itself.

9

Gordy, Gordy (1995)

I’ll be honest I’ve never seen this movie, but let’s face it, the sheer number of pigs in film isn’t as much as it once was. But hey, this is a Disney movie about a talking pig trying to find his family. The only thing that could be better is if little Gordy saved his family from the slaughterhouse at the very last minute. But hey, since I haven’t seen it, it is possible that this is what happens. For that alone, it comes in at number nine on our list.

8

Napoleon, Animal Farm (1955)

I think this is where it all went bad. Between this movie and George Orwell’s original source material, the little pig got a certain reputation that it continues to have until this day. I think it’s sort of ironic that pig is thought of as a derogatory term given the subject matter here, or perhaps that’s the point. Regardless, Napoleon’s ruthlessness isn’t lessened by his animated likeness.

7

Porky, Porky’s (1981)

Now, the real question you have to ask yourself is do we mean the mascot of the adult entertainment place or the owner? They are both named Porky. Perhaps, it’s best to let you figure that one out on your own.

6

Vance, Big Top Pee-wee (1988)

In this underappreciate classic, Vance more than holds his own against the venerable Paul Reubens stealing many laughs from the man best known for his off-screen antics than anything ever put on film. Between this one and Porky’s, I’m sure that we’re going to get letters.

5

Miss Piggy, All The Muppet Movies (1980s)

Sure, this is more of an honor for the entirety of her career than any single movie, but it’s hard to have the best pigs discussion without her name coming up. Her tenderloins were made for the silver screen and when she shook them, Kermit the Frog wasn’t the only one spellbound by her appeal. For this reason alone, she gets a top five slot on our list.

4

Harry Plopper/Spider-Pig, The Simpsons Movie (2007)

“Spider-pig...Spider-pig.” That’s all I really have to say about this one now isn’t it?

3

Babe, Babe (1995)

Now the competition is getting serious. And let’s be honest here, this was always a three pig race to begin with. Babe might be surprising here as I know that many of you have fallen in love with the little piggie that could, but honestly, I couldn’t see Babe landing any higher than this. If you think I’m crazy, please let me know.

2

Wilbur, Charlotte’s Web (1973)

The original animated Wilbur is by far the best Wilbur to grace the silver screen and we hope that you agree with us. That live action one from a few years ago is so bad, we don’t even talk about in these parts. As Charlotte herself said, this is “Some Pig” and who are we argue? It has all the elements of a great story and the main character is one of the most impressive porkers we’ve ever seen. But as good as Wilbur is, he’s no match for our top oinker.

1

Hamm, Toy Story (1995)

And this little list of oinkers comes full circle. How’s that you ask? Well, if you had paid closer attention to those Swine Flu PSAs above, you would have seen a real young John Ratzenberger playing a bit part in one of them and of course, much like all of our little oinkers here, John has certainly come a long way over the years. Hamm is the quintessential oinker in every way and we couldn’t think of a better way to top our list than with an homage to the homage of the frugalness of these creatures, the piggy bank.

Now, I’ll use that joke. Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks!