The best movie quotes: AFI's list versus Homer Simpson
Posted Wednesday, June 22, 2005 at 10:58 PM Central
by Tim Briscoe
Last night the AFI introduced their 100 top movie quotes of all-time. How well did they do? Let's review.
First, the concept of honoring movie dialogue snippets is long overdue. Quotes are the souvenirs we each take from a movie and share in conversation with one another in our average, mundane lives. Citing a line from Caddyshack or Office Space also helps maintain our cool factor with our co-workers and buddies.
So how does AFI's list measure up? Well, quoting a line from Gone With the Wind will show off your movie knowledge but it won't endear you to your friends. For the ultimate list of movie quotes, you need not look any further than Homer Simpson.
In an episode of "The Simpsons" from season five, Homer argues with Marge in what is one long, run-on sampling of cinema's best movie quotes. It goes a little something like this:
"You don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that used to be your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!"
The lines are from ...And Justice For All, A Few Good Men, Patton, and Chinatown respectively. The Simpsons line -- a great quotable quote in itself -- exemplifies how we all use dialogue from films. And in my book, any list of great movie quotes must include these quotes. On this Homer litmus test the AFI scores a two out of four. Not bad, but not great either.
Any decent list of movie quotes must include the following unforgettable lines -- and you don't need Donna Karan, Dennis Miller or Leslie Uggams(!) telling you how cool they are. (Trivia buffs: click on each quote to reveal its source.)
"Mmmm-hmmm! This is a tasty burger!"
"So I got that going for me, which is nice."
"Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!"
"Yippie kay-yay, mother----er."
"We're on a mission from God."
"Would you like to play a game?"
"Roads? Where we're going we don't need... roads."
"Son, you got a panty on yer head."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
"A. Always. B. Be. C. Closing. Always Be Closing."
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
"They're all going to laugh at you!"
"The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist."
"What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?"
"Where does he get those wonderful toys?"
"'Scuse me while I whip this out."
"That's a severe behavioral disorder!"
"I'm here to tell you buttholes something, this sh-- is way out of line!"
"I'm gonna let ya' in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart sucks."
"They may take away our lives, but they'll never take... our freedom!"
"Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat."
"Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill."
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."
"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."
"The power of the force has stopped you, you hosers."
"Doomed... You're all doomed."
"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'."
"I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this."
"But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?"
"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"